Monday, February 10, 2014

How to Overcome Fear of Rejection

When it comes to tips on how to overcome fear and mental obstacles, surely getting past a fear of rejection must be somewhere in there, right? 

The fear of rejection is such a common mental obstacle to achieving everything that you can that you would think it must certainly have one of those fancy-schmancy phobia names. Amazingly, it doesn't, despite the fact that there is a fancy-schmancy phobia name for the fear of chopsticks. And your reward for not rejecting this blog entry is to find out what the fear of chopsticks is called when you reach the end.  

The closest fancy-schmancy phobia word for a fear of rejection is atychiphobia which is the fear of failure or, put more broadly, a word to describe performance anxiety. One of the most important lessons to learn if you truly want to overcome fear of rejection is realizing and accepting that that fear of rejection isn't always based upon a fear of failure. 

Overcoming Fear of the Unknown
Shockingly enough, there also is no official phobic name for the fear of the unknown. Fear of rejection is often more a fear of the unknown. In order translate overcome fear of rejection, you first need to specifically highlight what is stimulating that fear.  Take authority away from your fear by isolating in concrete terms exactly what is driving the anxiety. When you can identify with exact certainty the concrete issues behind your fear of being rejected, they no longer hide in the scary shadows of the unknown. When you isolate the real cause of your anxiety, you not only move closer to learning how to overcome fear, but you move toward striving harder for success. 

Realistic Expectations
Sometimes overcoming the mental obstacle of fear of rejection is recognizing that the fear is really just a cold slap in the face from the necessity to set realistic goals for yourself. The fear of being rejected for a job asking for five years of experience when you only have three years is one thing. It is another thing entirely to fear being rejected for a management position when your only experience is six months in the mail room. One of the key tips to overcome fear of rejection in order to enjoy success is requiring of yourself an honest assessment of expectations. Such brutal honesty can have a tremendous impact on your confidence level. Do not let a fear of rejection ever stop you from trying to get a job you are at least 90% certain you can do well. 

Don't Let Being Rejected Give You a Fear of Rejection
When you do actually get rejected, examine the circumstances of the situation carefully and individually. Don't lump all your rejections into one category; each one may be utterly unrelated to the others. Learning how to overcome a fear of rejection often involves overcoming mental obstacles like being conditioned to accept that "no" always and forever actually means "NO." Would you be shocked to learn many people who were told "no" later got a "yes" without doing anything more than refusing to accept the no? If you were rejected a job applicant, call the next day just to reassert your interest. If you were rejected for a contract, check in a few days later to see if the one who got the contract didn't work out. You never know. If you overcome a fear rejection and exhibit more ambition than anybody else...well, they can't reject you twice, can they? But they can certainly change their mind about rejecting you the first time.

How Great Thou Art
When you are getting nervous about taking a chance on getting rejected by strangers with power, carve out some time to spend with friends and family who will gladly remind you of all your positive qualities. Your support structure should also explain why what you view as negative qualities are not as bad as you think. Do whatever it takes to overcome fear of rejection by people who don't know you by getting people who do know you to remind you of everything that is special about you.  

As long as you don't suffer from consecotaleophobia, you can always contact me with information on the entrepreneurial advantages of chopsticks. Or just feel free to contact me about any issues related to entrepreneurial success. 

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